Why Trying to Conceive Feels So Hard
Why Trying to Conceive Feels So Hard (And What Most Women Get Wrong)
If you’ve ever found yourself spiraling through fertility forums at 2 a.m., juggling five different apps, peeing on more sticks than you can count, and wondering whether your body is “broken,” you’re not alone. In fact, most women who are trying to conceive fall into the same patterns creating unnecessary stress, confusion and self‑blame.
These are some of the most common misconceptions we see at our clinic, and why they make the journey harder than it needs to be.
1. Fertility Apps Aren’t Crystal Balls
Many women rely on apps to predict their fertile window, assuming the algorithm knows exactly when ovulation will happen. In reality, apps can only guess based on data from previous cycles. They can’t read your hormones, your biology or predict the future. While great for tracking patterns and symptoms, they’re not diagnostic tools; they’re often inaccurate. Your body doesn’t follow a calendar app, it follows hormones.
2. “I Don’t Think I’m Ovulating” (But You Have a Period)
A very common fear: “I must not be ovulating.” But if you’re having regular, predictable periods, ovulation is very likely happening.
The problem is that ovulation is subtle. Not everyone feels it. It’s hard to measure reliably. And when conception doesn’t happen right away, it’s easy to assume something is wrong.
Cycle tracking apps & LH tests add to the confusion, leading women to doubt their ability to ovulate.
*If you’re not having a predictable period, give us a call! Acupuncture can help.
3. LH Tests Are Helpful (But Confusing)
Ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) measure LH, not ovulation itself. And this leads to several misunderstandings:
An LH test does not guarantee ovulation.
A positive OPK means you’re possibly 1-2 days out from actual ovulation.
Some women wait to start “trying” until they get that positive, which is unintentionally waiting ‘til the last minute.
Some women have chronically high LH due to PCOS. OPKs don’t work with PCOS.
LH surges can vary. They can be short, long, or even happen without ovulation. I tell so many patients, “If you have them, use them. If you don’t, save your money. They often aren’t worth the stress.”
4. Age Anxiety Is Real (But Often Overblown)
Women are constantly told that fertility falls off a cliff at 35. This creates enormous pressure, even for women who are still well within their fertile years. At our clinic, we’ve helped so many women in their mid-40s conceive healthy babies naturally and in medicated cycles (IUI/IVF).
I mean, our eggs aren’t getting any younger but fertility is influenced by so many factors, including genetics, diet & lifestyle. Some work in our favor while others don’t, but what you’re doing now can have a positive impact.
Stressing about age often does more harm than the age itself. Focus on factors you can control.
5. The Default Assumption: “It Must Be Me”
One of the most heartbreaking patterns is how quickly women blame themselves.
Even when cycles are normal. Even when you’re in the unknown category. Even when conception isn’t happening despite months or years of trying. Even in the case of loss and trauma… give yourself grace.
Trying to conceive can feel lonely & deeply personal, but fertility is mostly a two‑person equation. En egg and sperm make up two halves of the DNA (even if half was donated).
Remember, for sperm-having men, fertility testing is much less invasive and much more affordable. Maybe rule him out first?
6. Self‑Diagnosing and Self‑Medicating Based on Anecdotes
The internet is full of “miracle supplements,” “secret hacks,” and “this worked for me” stories.
It’s tempting to try everything. But anecdotal evidence isn’t medical guidance.
The number of times I’ve had to inform a patient that a supplement or protocol that worked for their best friend maybe be doing more harm than good… too many times!
Fertility advice regarding diet, lifestyle and supplementation looks incredibly different for a 28 year-old with PCOS, or a 45 year-old going through IVF versus a 33 year old with Hashimoto’s and recurrent pregnancy loss.
Women often end up taking too many supplements they don’t need, misinterpreting symptoms, or chasing someone else’s solution instead of understanding their own body & unique circumstances.
7. Testing Too Early, Too Often, and Too Much
Pregnancy tests. LH tests. Progesterone tests. It’s easy to fall into the trap of over‑testing.
But testing too early, too late or too frequently leads to:
false negatives
confusion & unnecessary stress.
basic fertility hormone panels should be done cycle day 3 and then 7 days post ovulation; timing matters.
wasted money, these tests are not cheap!
More data isn’t always better. Sometimes it’s more noise that adds to the confusion.
8. Doing Everything at Once (And Burning Out)
When trying to conceive, many women feel they must optimize every detail: diet, supplements, timing, sleep, exercise, cervical mucus, basal body temperature, ovulation strips, fertility apps, symptom tracking - it’s too much. It becomes a full‑time job.
Often, the biggest shift comes from doing less and finding balance in the chaos.
The Bottom Line
Most women trying to conceive aren’t doing anything “wrong.” They’re simply overwhelmed by conflicting information, pressured by age narratives, and confused by costly tools and methods that aren’t perfect.
The truth is simple: Your body is not the enemy. You’re not broken. You don’t need to achieve perfection to grow your family. Let us know if you need help finding your footing, we’re happy to guide you.